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ZENZEN
7th April 2003, 03:17 PM
Q: What's the national bird of Iraq?
A: DUCK!

Q: What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
A: You shout out, "B-52"


Q: Why doesn't Saddam go out drinking?
A: Why should he when he can get bombed at home?



Iraq TV Guide

Monday
8:00 Husseinfeld.
8:30 Mad About Everything.
9:00 Suddenly Sanctions.
9:30 Allah McBeal.

Tuesday
8:00 Wheel of MisFortune and Terror.
8:30 The Price Is Right if Saddam Says It's Right.
9:00 Children Are Forbidden to Say the Darndest Things.
9:30 Iraq's Funniest Public Execution Bloopers.

Wednesday
8:00 Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer.
8:30 Diagnosis: Heresy.
9:00 Just Shoot Me.
9:30 Veilwatch.

Thursday
8:00 Mahatma Loves Chachi.
8:30 M*U*S*T*A*S*H.
9:00 Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses.
9:30 My Two Baghdads.

Friday
8:00 Judge Saddam.
8:30 Captured Iranian Soldiers Say The Darndest Things.
9:00 Achmed's Creek.
9:30 Nowitness News.


TALIBAN TV GUIDE

6.00 G-Had TV. Morning prayers.
8.30 Talitubbies. Talitubbies say "Ah-ah". Dipsy and Tinky-Winky repair a Stinger missile launcher.
9.00 Shouts of Praise. More prayers.
11.00 Jihad's Army. The Kandahar-on-Sea battalion repulse another attack by evil, imperialist, Zionist backed infidels.
12.00 Ready, Steady, Jihad! Celebrities make lethal devices out of everyday objects.
12.30 Panoramadan. The programme reports on Americas attempts to take over the world.
13.30 Xena: Modestly dressed Housewife. Xena stays at home and does some cooking.
14.00 Only Fools and Camels. Dhal-Boy offloads some Chinese rocket launchers to Hamas.
14.30 Green Peter. The total of Kalashnikovs bought by the milk bottle top appeal is revealed.
15.00 Madrasah Challenge. Two more Islamic colleges meet. Bambah Kaskhain asks the questions.'Starter for ten, no praying.'
15.30 I Love 629. A look back at the events of the year, including the Prophet's entry into Mecca, and the destruction of pagan idols.
16.00 Question Time. Members of the public face questions from political and religious leaders.
17.00 Koranation Street. Deirdrie faces execution by stoning for adultery.
17.30 Middle-East Enders. The entire cast is jailed for unislamic behaviour.
18.00 Holiday. The team go on pilgrimage to Mecca. Again.
18.30 Top of the Prophets. Will the Koran be No.1 for the 63,728th week running?
19.00 Who wants to be a Mujahadin? Mahmoud Tarran asks the questions.
Will contestants phone a mullah, go 'inshallah', or ask the Islamic council?
20.00 FILM: Shariah's Angels. The three burkha-clad sleuths go undercover to expose an evil scheme to educate women.
21.30 Big Brother. Who will be taken out of the house and executed this week?
22.30 Shahs in their Eyes. More hopefuls imitate famous destroyers of the infidel.
23.30 They think it's Allah over. Quiz culminating in the 'don't feel it the Mullah' round.
0.00 When Imams attack. Amusing footage shot secretly in mosques. The filmers were also secretly shot.
00.30 a.m. The West Bank Show. Arts programme looking at anti-Israel graffiti art in the occupied territories.
01.30 Bhuffi the Infidel Slayer.
02.00 A book at bedtime. The Koran. Again.



Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?
A. You only have to teach them to take off.

Q. What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?
A. They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks
are coming from!

Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see their Air Force.

Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting, and at a cost of $800,000.

Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."

Roosters
There were three Roosters...a straight rooster, a retarded rooster, and a gay rooster. The straight rooster says cockeldoodeldoo. The retarded rooster says doodledoodlecock, and the gay rooster says anycockeldoo!


Two Iranians meet in Los Angeles.
One starts to greet the other in Farsi, the language of their native country.
The other Iranian waves him away impatiently and says,
"We're in America now. Speak Spanish!"


WHAT'S IN A NAME ?
1. IACOCCA (the former Chrysler President/CEO)stands for

I
Am
Chairman
Of
Chrysler
Corporation
America


coincidence?.......... try these!

2. Bush (the American President)

Beat
Up
Saddam
Hussein!


3. Clinton (remember him?)

Call
Lewinsky,
I
Need
The
Oral
Now


However, no one can beat this latest casualty in bad naming

Osama (WHO doesn't know him)

Oh
Shit,
American
Missiles
Again!

Njoi,

http://www.zenzen.co.kr/img/zenlogo12.jpg
:crazy: :roll: :crazy: :roll: :crazy: :roll: :crazy: :roll:

johns_ar
7th April 2003, 03:20 PM
quality :thumbsup:

Miss Cola
8th April 2003, 09:41 AM
LOL!! :D :thumbsup:

The Joker
8th April 2003, 11:54 AM
Class m8!!! :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: