View Full Version : Computer Faults.....

The Frog Meister
8th January 2003, 05:50 PM
1) All computers wait at the same speed.
2) Formatting C: 97%
3) Back to real life.
4) DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
5) Do I need a reason????? Nah, I don't think so......
6) Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
7) Linux VirusScan - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/y)"
8) What's /exit do?
9) (A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
10) (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?
11) (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer
12) (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened...
13) 1 + 1 = ? Ask my calculator.
14) All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power
15) And God said: E = +mv} - Ze}/r ...and there *WAS* light!
16) Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
17) Bad command or file name. Go stand in the corner.
18) Bet you can't stop reading here <--- I knew it...
19) Beware the chickens, for in their silence, they plot...
20) Brain over - Insert coinBrain: The apparatus with which we think that we think.
21) Breast size multiplied by IQ always equals 69
22) Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
23) Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
24) Chernobyl used MACs
25) Chernobyl used Linux
26) Civilization - biggest syntax error in history!
27) Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
28) Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are.
30) Dave, I can`t run under Windows.... Dave? (HAL 9000)
31) REALITY.DAT not found. Press any key to reset Universe.
32) REALITY.SYS Corrupted - Unable To Recover Universe
33) REALITY.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot universe? (Y/N/Q)
34) RECOVER.COM: a little slice of hellRESTORE A: C:\VIRGINITY\*.* /S
35) Do fish get thirsty?
36) Do files get embarrassed being unZIPped?
37) Do not disturb. Already disturbed!
38) Don't Take Life Seriously, It Is Not Permanent.
39) Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
40) Don't diet, download a virus to remove the FAT.
41) ERROR 103: Dead mouse in hard drive.
42) Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
43) Hi. You have just entered the fourth dimension. Small isn't it?
44) Should I or shouldn't I?... Too late, I did!
45) File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
46) That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all.
47) This e-mail is SHAREWARE! To Register, send me $10.
48) I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!
49) I get mail........ I exist.
50) I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
51) I haven't lost my mind, I know exactly where I left it.
52) I know everything about everything, except that.
53) I know it all. I just can't remember it all at once.
54) I tried an internal modem, but it hurt when I walk.
55) I'd rather have a 3.5" hard one than a 5.25" floppy one
56) I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
57) I'm not lost, but I don't know where I am.
58) If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good." B. Gates
59) If Speed Kills then Windows users will be around for ever!
60) Is this a machine? I don't talk to machines! [Click]
61) If it works, don't fix it.
62) Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
63) MICROSOFT MULTITASKING: Screwing up several things at once!
64) Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
65) Press <CTRL><ALT><DEL> to continue . . .
66) Programmers don't die; they just GOSUB without RETURN.
67) She sells C shells.
68) The definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
69) Time is a great teacher. Unfortunately it kills all of its pupils.
70) To err is human. To admit it is a blunder.
71) "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
72) Who's General Failure and why is he reading my disk?

9th January 2003, 10:13 AM
Nice one.... especially guffawed at these two:

12) (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened...


The Frog Meister
9th January 2003, 10:19 AM
These ones tickled me.....

7) Linux VirusScan - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/y)"
21) Breast size multiplied by IQ always equals 69
56) I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
63) MICROSOFT MULTITASKING: Screwing up several things at once!