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Biskit
16th October 2002, 12:44 AM
Perfect Day for a Man:


8:00 Alarm.
8:01 Blowjob.
8:02 Massive dump while reading the sports section.
8:30 Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and coffee.
9:00 Limo arrives.
9:02 Bloody Mary en route to airport.
9:15 Private jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9.20 Blowjob
9:55 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
10:00 Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par.
12:00 Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens.
12:15 Blowjob.
12:16 Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par.
2:15 Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis.
2:30 Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas. Nap.
3.00 Woke up with a Blowjob
3:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew.
4:30 Catch world record light tackle marlin-1249 lbs.
5:00 Jet back home. En route, get massage from naked supermodel.
7:00 Pick up Sasha's record collection 88-92, which he gives you freely!
8:00 Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon, 20 Oz. New York strip.
9:00 Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.
10:00 Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi.
11:45 Go to bed (Alone).
11:50 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart. Watch the dog leave the room.
11:55 Laugh yourself to sleep...

_____________________________

Perfect Day for a Woman:


8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses.
8:30 Weigh 5 lbs. lighter than yesterday.
8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants.
9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil.
10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, and comb out.
12:00 Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.
12:45 Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30lbs.
1:00 Shopping with friends.
3:00 Nap.
4:00 A dozen roses delivered by florist. Card is from a secret admirer.
4:15 Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage.
5:30 Pick outfit for dinner. Primp before mirror.
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.
10:00 Hot shower...alone.
10:30 Make love.
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.

The Joker
16th October 2002, 06:59 AM
h8 2 say it but it's true, well the women 1 anyways :o :D :D :D :p :p ;) ;) ;)

Red Mancunian
18th October 2002, 09:43 AM
lol and the fella's one aint far off either... ;)