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Originally Posted by Miss C  I'm glad you kind of validated & explained that from a male perspective, good example with that Dustin Hoffman. It was a bit of a taboo statement of me to make, because no female wants to believe it, (I certainly didn't), but I think its the truth in alot of, (by no means all) cases, that they would if they could. Everybodys different. I don't actually think it works the other way so much either, perhaps partially because women generally tend to be able to get their way with men easier than men with women, so they don't need to bother with a long winded farcical friendship in the first place? or maybe we're just less sexually governed? or naive as to some male motives?
Its just weird with SOME close male/female friendships, where are the boundaries? how do you distinguish your feelings? particularly if you're a man! Loads of male/fem friendships turn into relationships, so theres obviously a bit of both going on sometimes. |
Yep true in a lot of cases, but not all. The 'not all' ones are the best people to have a relationship with, because they see the whole person, not just some saucy sexual fantasy or as a trophy on the arm/someone their mates will be impressed with. When I say whole person, I mean all the shit as well, the insecurity, the fear, all the stuff you hide most of the time. You'll be able to tell what a man wants from you first and foremost by what he says and how he acts. I think women instinctively sense this and can even fine tune it.
I guess you don't have to distinguish your feelings, you either have them or you don't. You can't make yourself flip out and feel crazy about someone, although I think you can warm to them to the point other aspects of them appear sexy, just in a different way. I personally like to feel so mad for someone it terrifies me, but that probably makes me some sort of pervert!
Yeah a lot of friendships turn into relationships, and a lot of sexual attractions turn in real loving friendships without ever losing the sexy thing. I read somewhere it isn't important to find the right person, more to be the right person.