[Vickles]

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want...

5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = I need to complain

7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to

8. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron

10. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead

11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

13. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive

14. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

15. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

16. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question

8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you

13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 minutes

14. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you

15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay