[dodgymix]

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him on the seventh day resting. He
enquired of god, "Where have you been?" God pointed downwards through the
clouds. "Look Michael, look what I've made" said God.



Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "Its a planet,"
replied God, " and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and its
going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still
confused.



God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth, "For example,
North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South
America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot
and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white
people and over there is a continent of black people." God continued,
pointing to the different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and
arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."



The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land
and asked, "What's that?" "Ah," said God. "That's the north of England, the
most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, seven great cities
in Yorkshire alone, and many impressive towns, it is the home of the world's
finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The
people from North England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous
and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely
sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout
the world as speakers of truth."



Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about
balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!" God replied very wisely, "Wait
till you see the set of w*nkers I'm putting down South!!! "