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Originally Posted by Shoomster you know it fella - I havent missed a single issue since 1989  |
Great monkey books at great monkey prices!!!!!! That will stay with me forever, i've not laughed so much............err ever!!!!!!!!
Here's some more of my personal favorites!!!
"I've just finished watching crime watch UK, and at the end Nick Ross said "sleep well and don't have nightmares". How does he expect me to sleep well when he's just shown the nation a video of me doing an armed robbery on a post office in Worksop?"
"After extensive pondering, i have decided that i woud shag Veness Feltz given the chance, can any of your readers sink lover than this?"
"According to a recent survey, most wives are too embarassed to get undressed infront of thire husbands, i wish mine fucking was!!"
"On hearing Pink's new song "Don't let me me get me" where she begs for a day in the life of someone else i was filled with pity. I wrote to her offering to spend a day mucking about in a music studio while she could spend eight hours packing cheese before returning home to an alcoholic mother and her local felon boyfriend. I have yet to recieve a response"
"have you had an accident in the last three years? they ask, you could claim compensation they continue. I phoned claims direct expecting to be passed on to a solicitor and a big cash payout only to be told that drinking 15 pints of real ale, before sneezing and following through was not an accident!! It's not like i did it on fucking purpose!!"
And just for Jaxx!!!!
"I for one would not be amused if shaking Steven developed Parkinsons disease!!"
He he, it was like that when i got it..................."What!!!"