| the rules of womanhood.... as proposed by a man, thought some of them were funny.....
*If one woman goes to the bathroom, at least one other woman from her group must go with her.
*If a man has the remote, a woman must always complain about what is on TV. She must complain twice as loud if she is dating or married to the man in control of the remote.
*A woman is not only allowed to be upset about anything a man does, she is encouraged to be upset about everything a man does.
*It is acceptable for a woman to compliment another woman on how she looks. The word "cute" is encouraged.
*When a woman says, "Does anyone want this last piece of pizza?" she is really saying, "Someone please eat this before I do because it will make me fat."
*After complimenting another woman, a woman is permitted to talk bad about that woman behind her back.
*A woman will never tell a man exactly what she is thinking.
*Even if it is an obvious compliment, a woman may take anything a man says as an insult, especially if it will confuse the man to no end. For example:
Man: "You look really nice tonight."
Woman: "What are you saying? Are you saying that I don’t usually look nice? You think I’m fat, don’t you? I don’t even know you anymore!"
Man: "What just happened?"
*When a woman says, "It doesn’t matter," she is really saying, "If you make the wrong choice I will not speak to you for a month."
*All women like Julia Roberts. It is genetic.
*For some inexplicable reason it is alright for a woman to want Brad Pitt to take his shirt off in a movie, but it is totally unacceptable for a man to watch Britney Spears dance on MTV.
*If an electronic device does not work it is never the woman’s fault. The only logical explanation is that the device is just "stupid."
*Men argue because they know they are right. Women argue because they know they are wrong.
*It is totally acceptable for a woman to pour hot wax on her legs, pull the hair out by the roots, and still be afraid of a spider.
*When a woman says, "I’ll be ready in five minutes," she really means, "I’ll be ready in half an hour."
*A man can pick up any video game and immediately know how to play. A woman can read the entire instruction manual and still have no idea what is going on.
*Women like the "bad boy" image, but immediately upon going out with one will try to change him.
*Asking a woman to think logically is like asking Dennis Miller to stop using obscure references. |