[doolz]

Subject: Windows XP New Joisey Edition

Dear Consumas:

It has come ta our attention dat a cupola copies of the Windows XP New Joisey Edition mighta been shipped outsida Joisey. If ya got one a dese, youse may need some help unnerstanin da commands.

Da Joisey edition may be recognized by da unique openin' screen. It reads: "Windas XP", wit a background pitcha a Hoboken. When youse start da program, instead a da usual stringy like music, you hear a little Springsteen. It's also shipped wit a Sopranos screen sava.

Please also note:

Recycle bin is labeled "Newark"

My Computer is called "My Friggin' Computa"

The Inbox is referred to as "Da Trunk"

Deleted items are referred to as "Wacked", "Erased" or "Rubbed Out"

Control Panel is known as "The Bosses"

Performing an "illegal operation" is known as "Enhancin' da Family Business" and will actually maximize da program instead a shuttin' it down

Hard Drive is referred to as "Da Turnpike on Da Way to Da Shore"

Instead of an error message, "You Ain't Gonna Friggin' Believe Dis'" pops up.

Changes in Terminology in Da Joisey Edition:

OK . . . . Sure ting

Cancel . . . . Fugetabouit

Reset . . . . Start ova

Yes . . . . Yeah

No . . . . Nah

Find . . . . Put a Contract Out On

Browse . . . . Get a Looksee

Back . . . . U-Toin

Help . . . . Get Your Own Friggin' Ansa

Stop . . . . Knock it Off

Start . . . . Move it

Settings . . . . Here's da Rules

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you mistakenly got a copy of the Joisey Edition (not).

You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

You gotta problem wit dat?