[JohnnyPink]

A man walks into a bar swinging a set of jumper leads above his head. The barman looks over and says "You're not going to start anything in here, mate!"

Three strings walk into a bar. The bartender throws them out, yelling "Can't you read the sign?! I don't serve strings." The strings try again, and again the bartender kicks them out. Finally, one of the strings gets the idea to mess himself up a little. He walks into the bar. The bartender scowls, "What's wrong with you? Can't you read? I don't serve strings!" The string replies, "I'm a frayed knot!"

A mushroom walks into a bar. He sits next to a beautiful woman and tries to pick her up. He gives her a few cheap lines, and she replies "Get out of here, I don't want nothing to do with you!" Then the mushroom says, "What's the matter? I'm a fun-gi!"